Anticipation.

The next two days are going to be HUGE. Bigger Than Big. Lives are going to be changed, history is going to be made, futures are going to be set on distinct paths. And I'm not talking about the election on Tuesday...I'll get to that in a moment. What I'm talking about now are all the court dates happening in Addis Abba, Ethiopia tomorrow, Monday Nov 3rd. I know of four families, but there are probably more, who are right now most likely rocking in a corner somewhere in fear/hope/anticipation/numbness/excitement of what tomorrow will bring for them and their children. Tomorrow these families will have their cases reviewed by the courts of Ethiopia. Hopefully, the courts will feel comfortable and sure that these are good matches and that these children belong with these families. If, for whatever reason, the court does not feel certain, then they will postpone judgment. Which means these families will have to wait another month or two for another court date. More waiting.

Most of these families have been waiting since the summer for their court date. They have been counting down the days for someone they will never meet to decide when and if they can legally claim these children (the key word here is legally...because they claimed these children in their hearts months ago). When you are pregnant you have a pretty good idea give or take a few weeks when you will hold your child. When you are adopting that finish line is very fluid and you can hope that it will happen on a certain date give or take a few weeks but there is no certainty until you have passed court. So these families are waiting, waiting, waiting for a finish line that may come tomorrow...or may be pushed 3 miles further back.

I am not normally a patient person; I like things done now. Apparently, this has to do with being a Taurus but I'm not exactly sure what that means. But even though I'm not patient on a daily basis, I do love anticipation. I love looking forward and counting down to things: Christmas, our wedding, trips, god-children's births... I love the mandatory waiting period because once the thing Happens...you will have lost Waiting forever. Once he's your husband, he can't be your fiance. Once you visit a new country you can't go back to being clueless about it.

Even now, in the adoption process, I am enjoying the waiting. These past 9 weeks have sort of been fun for us. But here's the thing: we don't have a referral yet. We don't have a picture or the name of a child waiting for us across the world. I think once you have that... once you know your child's name and their story, then all bets are off. THEN I think the waiting must be agonizing and not so much fun anymore.

As a bystander I am on pins and needles for these families with court dates tomorrow so how can they--the actual ones involved--handle it? Have they been able to fall asleep these last few nights? Have they totally lost their appetites because they are so full of What's Coming? Do they find themselves wandering from room to room without a reason? Why doesn't the anticipation just drive them crazy? I think it's the Hope that is keeping them sane. The Hope that everything is going to workout the way it should.

I have been thinking the same things about the election on Tuesday. (I promised the Esquire that I wouldn't make this blog political. Not because we have any problems letting the world know that we think Obama is the greatest thing going, but mainly because this blog is about adoption and we are trying to keep it single focused. But hopefully I can talk about the Election in general and not piss off too many people.) I, personally, am SO EXCITED about Election Day that I can barely stand it. Talk about Anticipation and Hope! How on earth are the Obamas and the McCains dealing with the wait? Have they slept at all in the past month? Are their fingernails bitten down to the quick? How can they even STAND the anticipation of what Tuesday holds. Talk about a life changing day for them, for their families and really, not to be dramatic here, but for the world! Again, I think it comes down to the Hope they must have. That it's all going to work out the way it should. (and that we won't relive the agonizing vote count of 2000!)

The definitions for anticipate and hope (according to Merriam-Webster online) are:

anticipate |anˈtisəˌpāt| verb
1 regard as probable; expect or predict
• guess or be aware of (what will happen) and take action in order to be prepared :
• look forward to

hope |hōp| noun
1 a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen
• a person or thing that may help or save someone
• grounds for believing that something good may happen

Please indulge me for a moment as I channel my inner, very amateur William Safire ... to anticipate is not just to look forward to but it also means to regard as probable. And hope is not just to expect and desire a certain thing to happen but also having grounds for believing. So to anticipate you have to regard it as probable and to hope you have to believe. Believe it will be probable. They seem to go hand in hand. I find that kinda cool.

I have so much anticipation and hope for all that could happen in the next two days I could implode. Or dance. Or sing. Maybe even skip a little. And while I'm singing and dancing and almost imploding while skipping around... I will have my fingers and toes crossed for those of you with court dates tomorrow.

As for the Election... I do have the audacity of hope and I can not wait to see what Wednesday brings!

See you at the polls! xoxo-Kat