Friday, December 19, 2008

The Windowsill

Artwork copyright (c) by Marcia Falk

So today marks our 16th week on the Wait List... if you count by weeks this means we are at the 4 month mark of waiting for The Call... that means we have entered the mythical Window!

For my 2 non-adopting readers let me explain: "The Window" refers to the time between... Right now, our agency is saying the average wait for a referral is 4-6 months. Of course we know how averages work... some people wait less than 4 months, some people wait longer than 6 months...but lately, most people have gotten The Call somewhere in The Window: between the 4th and 6th month.

Now, I should be totally honest, our agency doesn't actually count by weeks, they count by calendar months. That means we aren't really starting our 4th month until Dec I guess technically we are on The Windowsill as opposed to being IN The Window... but that's ok, it's thrilling to be this close! (and besides...we'll be out of town on the 29th so I figured I'd better write about this event now!)

These past 4 months have FLOWN by... I'm afraid that time will move much more slowly now that we are actively thinking about The Call. Up until now we have been pretty Zen and passive about it all. In fact we were so secure in the knowledge that we still had months to wait before receiving The Call that I often left the house without my phone. I have been so 'ok' with waiting that when someone called me the other day and said, "I heard about your referral!" it never crossed my mind that they knew something I didn't know, I just automatically assumed they had called the wrong person. We have spent the last 4 months thinking, "Nothing will happen until after the holidays." But now the holidays are here...we are on The Windowsill... there is now a legitimate chance we could get The Call at any moment. We still don't think it will come for some time, but it COULD. And knowledge of that slim chance is, I'm afraid, what will slow time down to the speed of a DMV line.

My blogger friend (Bloend? Frogger Blogend?) Julie and her husband could get The Call AT ANY MOMENT...they could get the call before I finish typing this sentence. Sends shivers up your spine doesn't it? They are thisclosecouldbeanysecondnow to getting a referral. On her blog this week she confesses to having the following ailments:
(fyi: she uses the word proposal instead of referral...thinks it sounds nicer)

1.Pre-Proposal Paralysis. Symptoms include; not leaving the house, an inability to accomplish tasks, an inability to wear proper clothing, an aversion to hair dryers, make-up, bras, the gym, and toothpaste, an affinity for all things carbohydrate. May include mass consumption of chocolate and pop-tarts.

2.Adoption induced Agoraphobia.
Symptoms include; not leaving the house, and an irrational fear of stepping outside to retrieve the newspaper. Benefits may include a substantial savings on gasoline expenditures.

So based on her experience and knowledge of being thisclosecouldbeanysecondnow to The's what worries me a little (and if he read my blog, would worry The Esquire a LOT) -- it is well known-and my friends will agree with this- that I already have an aversion to hairdryers, make-up, bras and the gym. (Though I do generally like toothpaste.) I have never really possessed the ability to wear proper clothing and if I'm not traveling, then I prefer my own home to almost any place else, especially if there is a 90210 marathon on (old school version).

Do you see the problem here? Where do you go if you are already down? Our agency suggests we spend this time "scrap booking." Yes. Well. Might as well suggest I learn to cook.
Artwork copyright (c) by Marcia Falk

Sigh. But I guess there is really nothing that can be done. The window is the window. Time will move as fast or slow, as it wants to. All we can do is wait. And occasionally bathe. And keep our fingers crossed that Julie gets her proposal soon so I can think about someone else for a change. (Isn't it interesting how at the same time you can be the most fascinating and boring person you know?)

I hope everyone has merry, merry holidays. If you are traveling...go safely. Tune in next year when the countdown...and manic behavior and more boring blogs on waiting... start for real!


ps... As listed above, the artwork shown is by my dear friend Marcia Falk....check her out at And yes, I suppose technically to fit my blog's theme I should have posted pictures looking IN a window and not out of one. But I just love her window drawings so much I cheated. It's my blog, I can do that.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

9 out of 10

According to my unscientific research it looks like there were 10 families represented by Gladney (our adoption agency) in an Ethiopian court today. That means 10 families couldn't sleep last night and then sat by their phones all day waiting to hear if the Ethiopian court approved their adoptions.

Drum roll please.... 9 of them passed! There are NINE new families today! 9 out of 10. That is amazing. I am over the moon by this news.

No, I don't know any of these 10 families... I've just been following their adoption stories. Keeping my fingers crossed for them.

No, this doesn't really affect us directly... we still have many more months to wait until we get a referral and then even longer till it's our time in court. But the fact that families are continually passing court is a great and hopeful sign for those of us coming next.

And as for the one family that did not pass today (paperwork issues)...Our fingers will stay crossed and our thoughts and prayers aimed towards you until it's your day. Keep the faith.


Sunday, December 14, 2008


Lots and lots of court dates happening this's hoping you each find barakah when/where you need it most.

PS: according to Wikipedia, the Christian version of barakah is divine grace...AND it's also the Swahili origin of president-elect Barack Obama's first name...

anyone else have goose bumps just reading that?

Friday, December 5, 2008

Half-way there???

Today marks our 14th week on the wait list. That's 3.5 months or 98 days but really, who's counting?

Monday, December 1, 2008


Exactly 2 years ago this month the Esquire and I huddled together in a tent in the middle of the Thar desert in Rajasthan, making whispered plans about our future family and plotting the day we would come back to India with our children. We had spent the previous few months wandering around northern India and even though we were initially, completely overwhelmed by India's....well... India-NESS, we had slowly fallen in love with the country.

Everything you have heard about India is true. It is dirty, joyful, poor, religious, ambitious, devout, crowded, constantly moving and changing, full of history, colorful, exotic, and undeniably beautiful. But to truly see what India is like, you have to take those words and magnify them by 1000 and even then India will still be more than you can imagine. Like it's cuisine, India itself is complex and layered, traditional and changes with every bite.

To say it plainly: I love India. I love India and I can't wait to see its wonders through our children's eyes. I love India and I am utterly heartbroken by last weeks events in Mumbai.

Heartbroken. Heartsick.

As I read about the attacks, my heart simultaneously races and freezes up. It is similar to how I felt watching the Twin Towers fall on television. Dismay. Disbelief. Distress. Watching so many people -a whole country- hurt by just a few people trying to force their beliefs on the world. How does this happen? Why does it keep happening?

I am not naive. I know India isn't all twinkly bracelets and yoga retreats. I know it's long history, much of which has been violent, both to outsiders and to their own. But no country deserves this.

I'm rambling. Sorry. I just don't know what else to do with this sadness. And I suppose this is the purpose of a blog ... an outlet for rambles.