Things people say *Edited*

Before we brought the twins home (two months ago yesterday!) I did a lot of worrying about what people would say when they saw our mixed race family. I come from the South and so was a bit worried about random comments from random strangers...how would I respond?...how would I explain these comments to our kids?...how would I put these stupid strangers in their place while not loosing face in front of our kids?

For some reason I never anticipated the comments would be positive! Or for that matter, just plain weird. Below is little sample of things people have said to me while I was out and about with the twins....

Homeless man pushing his grocery cart full of recycling past us as we take our morning stroll, "You are just like OctoMom" (ok, I used to be compared to Angelina Jolie...what happened?!?!)

Cute little blond girl-maybe 4 or 5 yrs old- in Beverly Hills, "Look mommy, Brown Babies!" Her mortified mother, "Oh no honey, those aren't brown babies, they are African Babies."

Not 5 minutes later from a cashier at a restaurant...

"They are how old? Wow, you really lost your pregnancy weight quickly!" So in a span of just 5 minutes someone said I had African babies and someone else thought I gave birth.

"Hey, look at these cute dolls Trader Joe's is selling...OMG they are real!" I'm not making this up. A lady actually thought the twins were a display of some sort.

"Been there." From an older lady dressed in all white (white blouse, crisply pressed white trousers, white silk man's vest, white straw panama hat and a huge white cameo ring). She then proceeded to tell me how she had only been expecting one baby "the other one hid" and therefore got the surprise of her life when they "pulled another one out." Her boys are now in their late 40's but apparently used to throw their poo at each other. All this was related while we were in line for coffee.

"They look JUST like you! Your husband must be bummed there's no trace of him in them huh?"

"Adoption?" This from a biker dude we walked past on Larchmont. When we said yes, he stood up and gave us a one man standing ovation.

"Two boys?" This from pretty much everyone we meet even though Baby Girl is, well, a GIRL and I tend to dress her in uber frilly dresses. Not to mention she is petite and has the features of a little pixie while her brother is 4 pounds bigger and already has a comb over! Which brings us to...

"He's bigger than her huh?" Did I mention he's almost 5 pounds heavier then her? And it shows in every way so I find this question kind of odd...obviously yes, he IS bigger. I always want to reply "not really, he's just retaining water weight" or "not normally but he's gaining weight for a role." But of course, I just nod and say yes, he is bigger.

"A boy and a girl...well I guess you're done. Shop closed!"

"Are you the babysitter?" This from two African American women I passed on the street.

"Are you breastfeeding?" Yes, I actually had a complete stranger, on the sidewalk, ask me if I was breastfeeding. Crazy.

But mostly I get comments like "These are the cutest babies I have ever seen" and "You are SO lucky!"

And you know what... they are right :-)
xoxo-Kat

ps...speaking of cute twins... head over here to wish this family double congratulations!

EDIT -- not 2 hours after posting this I was walking into Target with the twins and as I passed a lady with a baby and a toddler she looked at me with pity and said, "Twins. I'll pray for you."

Happy 6 Months! Happy 6 weeks home!

I can't believe I've become one of those bloggers...the kind who comes back from Ethiopia with her unbelievably cute kids and stops writing. Twins...that's my only excuse. If only I could dictate my blog...cause let me tell you, I write some good ones in my head in the shower.

We've been busy since I last posted... The Esquire has gone back to work, making me officially a SAHM (that's 'Stay At Home Mom' for those of you not in the loop). Luckily for me (and the twins) we have found a lovely woman who is going to help out part time. It's amazing how guilty you can feel for only having two hands and one lap!

So since it's pretty clear I can't write much at the moment...here is a pictorial glimpse into our first 6 weeks home as a family...

Here are the twins at Costco... they loved the outside hotdog stand part where people treated them like minor celebrities but they weren't too fond of the actual shopping part. I think this might be our last family trip to Costco.


Needless to say, the twins have spent a lot of time in their sedan of a stroller, which we like to call The Cart in honor of our friend Aynie (another Aynie-ism we've adopted is to say "he's spilling" instead of "he's spitting up"...so much more pleasant don't you think?)

We spend a lot of time strolling the cart around our neighborhood...

Here we are at the La Brea Tar Pits...

And then at the local corner mercado where you can buy injera, lottery tickets, and whiskey...

Here they are kind of enjoying our neighborhood's annual Little Ethiopia Street Fair and Parade.

The fair and parade are an annual elebration of Ethiopia's New Year (Sept 11th), which this year rang in the year 2002 (their calender has 13 months, so they are 7 years behind us). The parade is held about 3 blocks from our house and I was very excited for the twins to take part... even dressed them up in their little Ethiopian outfits. Unfortunately, I forgot how LOUD parades were...we left after the elephant.


That same week the twins received their Green Cards, which means they can legally work in the States now! Sadly, a month later and they are STILL just sitting around playing with their toes. To celebrate their new status we had a Green Card New Year's Party.

We spend most afternoons outside on our back porch watching the hummingbirds

Or on the front sidewalk watching for Dada to come home


Baby Girl has spent a lot of time and energy on her hair, as you can tell from her one curl. I call it her Spike Lee Cindy Loo Who Do

And of course we do A LOT of this...

The twins turned 6 months old earlier this month... they are eating well, sleeping well (at night at least...naps, not so much), rolling like tumbleweeds, sitting up on their own for a few seconds at a time (when not distracted by our cheering) and even starting to steal toys from each other. Our pediatrician has declared them brilliant in every way. Hey, it's not bragging if it comes from a professional.

So that's our last 6 weeks in a nutshell...it's been crazy busy and yet I'm not really sure what we've done other than tummy time and changing diapers. It hasn't all been easy (did I mention the lack of nap schedule?) but it's been fun and for the most part really good.

So here's hoping I actually write something before another 6 weeks passes! But just in case...Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!

xoxo-kat

The search begins...your advice wanted.

If you want to make a group of people laugh tell them you have 5 month old twins and you line dry your laundry. If you want to make a group of people go completely silent with disbelief, tell them you have 5 month old twins and don't have a dishwasher

So I'll admit, the dishwasher thing isn't by choice...but the line drying is. I hate hate hate our energy sucking dryer but luckily I live in Sunny Southern California...it just makes sense to line dry. 10 mins to hang, 2 hours in the sun, and presto...dry clothes. The bonus: I don't have to rush to get them as soon as they are dry so they don't wrinkle. Heck, I can leave them on the drying rack all day! And the bonus bonus is feeling smug that I didn't have to use any electricity.


It seems so simple to me and yet people think I'm crazy for line drying. You would not believe how many people think I will stop line drying now that we have twins.

Everyone has certain ideas about how they want to live. Mine include trying to be as Green as possible; trying to make as little waste as possible. I believe in tote bags versus plastic or paper grocery bags. I believe in walking more than driving...if you have to drive, make it the smallest car possible. I believe in cloth diapers and glass bottles. I believe in composting, recycling, freecycling, and craig's list. I believe in using my own refillable water bottle. I believe in Etsy and other made-by-hand websites. I believe in opening windows rather than using AC. I believe in eating what is for sale at my weekly farmers market. I believe in drought-resistant, California native plants instead of water sucking unnatural green lawns.

Sadly, I don't get to live all these beliefs every day. We rent so the garden is out of my control (though I am strict with the sprinkler usage...no one can accuse us of ignoring the water restrictions.) We live in LA so we have to drive more than I'd like...but we do walk much more than the average Angeleno (the mileage on our last car was so low that when we went to trade it in the dealer accused us of turning the odometer back). And as you all know... my dreams of driving like a European in a tiny car were dashed when faced with the realities of two rear facing car seats. I'm Green but I'm also realistic. I suppose, on the scale of Green living, I'm still a pale, pale lime. But I'm trying. And I don't think having twins means I have to stop trying.

So my next big step in practicing what I preach... cloth diapers. Or a biodegradable diaper. Or last resort, a disposable diaper made of post-consumer recycled content (free range wood pulp anyone?). Surely there must be a diaper out there that can contain my children's poop and yet doesn't have a half life longer than uranium.

And so the research begins. I'm looking into these and these and these. And I have set the goal of cutting down our diaper-footprint by the time the twins are 8 months old. That gives me 3 months to figure it out and 3 months for them to finish getting over any little Ethiopian souvenirs they might have growing in their poop.

Here's where I actively seek your advice. All those who have diapered before me--singleton or twin poo--what did you do for diapers?
Seriously, have you ever seen cuter bums then these? Not to mention the quality of head control and tummy time... but I digress. Diapers people...please help me find a diaper that works AND doesn't exist longer than my kids!

xoxo-Kat

Home again, home again.

So, we're back. We have gone and returned from Ethiopia. And we have returned with two of the most gorgeous, funny, wonderful, gassy babies you have ever seen. Seriously gorgeous. Like, Baby Gap model gorgeous. And seriously gassy. Farts so loud and rumbley they caused people on the plane to comment. Luckily, they are gosh darn cute when they toot...

Our trip was amazing... in every respect. Everyone we meet, everything we saw, tasted, felt, experienced...the good, the bad, the ugly... all of it amazing. We truly lucked out in many, many ways and for that I am grateful. None of us got sick while traveling (though being at home is a different story). Our twins sleep pretty well for 5 month olds...and were superstars on the long flight home. My best friend Lori went with us so we had an experienced mom to help out, our own photographer to help record the week and a good friend to share this special time with all rolled into one. Our paperwork and embassy appointment went super smoothly. We had a chance to visit with family friends while in Addis (and let's face it, going to a friend's home always makes a trip better). We gained a life long friend in Solomon, our wonderful driver. Even the dreaded rainy season was reduced to only one or two crazy, hard, short storms a day. I am sort of embarrassed to talk about how lovely our trip was over all. I know that Ethiopia can be a hard place to visit under any circumstances and that meeting your children and their family, trying to bond and attach...all that can be difficult and heavy but for some reason we lucked out. I am aware of how blessed we are.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all fairy dust and unicorns. We saw heartbreaking things and heard tragic stories. But even in all the heartbreak we were still amazed and in awe by the country, the people, the experience. I am so proud to say my children are Ethiopian.

We have actually been home for almost two weeks. Sorry to leave you all hanging here in BlogLand but it's been hard to write. Why? Well #1-I think I've mentioned that we have twins now. TWINS. Two parents. Two babies. Kinda hard to hand off a kid when your husband is already holding a kid! #2-they are unnaturally cute...so it's hard to tear myself away for a blog. Oh! He made a raspberry noise! And #3-because I'm just not sure what to write. Let me rephrase that...I'm not sure HOW to write this blog now.

I want so badly to post pictures and info on my children. I want to prove to you that they are the world's cutest twins. I want to wax on and on about how crazy soft their skin is (like touching AIR). I want to share every detail of our trip and our return. But... I am hesitant to do that. How can I post pictures and details about my sweet innocent 5 month old children when my own husband chooses to remain anonymous? I could make this blog private but then I'd miss out on all the random visitors. I could make up code names for the twins... Jayna and Zan? And just show you photos like these




Or I could just get over it and out my husband so that we are all equally exposed on the world wide web. What to do, what to do. I'm just not sure yet. I want to keep the blog...I like having a place to put my thoughts and I like your companionship. So I just need to figure out how to go forward. Anyway, that's why I haven't posted until now. But I figured I needed to post something and let you all know I was alive and happily ensconced in a family of four before I got another "WHERE ARE YOU??" comment (which I love by the way! Thanks for missing me!)

Here's something that I can write about now... the other major life changing event I've gone through since we last spoke...

This is what I used to drive. My zoom-zoom, my Mazda 3 hatchback that is perfect in every single way except when it comes to holding 2 rear facing car seats.

This is what I was hoping I could advance to, the Mazda 5, a mini-mini van. Three rows of seats, sliding side doors, great mileage, not your parent's mini-van when it comes to parking or looking cool.

This is what I've ended up with. A Honda Odyssey. The mothership of all mini-vans. Membership to Youth Soccer Leagues included.

Sadly, the Mazda 5 just wasn't big enough for 2 adults, 2 rear facing car seats and the largest double stroller known to man. Or rather...it was JUST big enough for those things and nothing more. The Odyssey holds all of us, our gargantuan stroller, two loads of Costco shopping and 15 beverages all at the same time. (Yes, the Odyssey holds 8 passengers, and has 15 cupholders ...you do the math).

Don't get me wrong. I really appreciate a mini-van and what it does...I just thought we had a few more years before we had to get one. I will love it in a week or two, but for now I'm a bit startled to see it in our driveway. And have I mentioned how much I love my Zoom Zoom? I get a little weepy at the thought of The Esquire getting to drive it to work every day. Sigh...I'm counting on the 15 cup holders and automatic sliding side doors to help me get over this pain.

I guess that's it for now. I'll figure out where to go with this blog and be back soon, I promise. But now I have to go watch Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum sleep... they both do this crazy little thing with their thumb that we just can't get enough of...

Ciao,
xoxo-Kat

A few final things

So here we sit, at our gate at LAX, waiting to board (ya gotta love the iPhone). Here are my favorite moments so far:

-The Esquire pacing around the house waiting for the cab while giving me a constant update on the time "10 mins!" "5 mins!"

-the cab driver taking us to LAX asked if we had family in Ethiopia...and it hit me- Yes! We do!

-seeing The Esquire show the baggage claim lady a picture of the twins

-realizing as we push our 76 bags through security that we are THOSE travelers now

-reaching into my carry on for something and pulling out the little hoodies I'm bringing for the twins

I can't believe it's time.

And by the way, NOW I'm giddy :-)

xoxo- Kat

Where I am right now.

A year after we were married, The Esquire and I wandered around the world for 14 months. The backpack below carried everything I needed for that whole trip. Note: the rocking Elephant is just in the picture for scale...we didn't carry him around with us.

Tomorrow we are leaving for Ethiopia for 10 days...and are taking 9 bags, 5 of which weigh over 50 lbs. Note: we might as well be taking the rocking elephant with us...we're taking everything else!

And yes, we will come home with less luggage but more baggage if you know what I mean. We'll leave behind the diapers and formula and wipes and bottles and crayons that we are taking to the orphanages but we'll be bringing home two humans. And that, my friends, is just plain craziness.

People have been asking me all week how I'm holding up? Am I emotional? And every time I've replied, "who has time for emotions? I have too much to pack and do and buy before I get on that plane Friday!" These past few days have been all about one thing: GET ON THE PLANE. I can honestly say I am looking forward to that 16 hour flight to Dubai where I can't do a single thing except sit and sleep and read and think and sleep some more.

But this afternoon, when I put the last luggage tag on the last steamer trunk sized suitcase, I did start to realize what was happening. And I should be honest here, because that's what blogs are about right? Honesty. (those pants don't make you look fat at all...) The strongest emotions hitting me today weren't about what we are going to do/get/become...no, the strongest feeling running through my heart and mind today was about all that we are losing.

Now don't get me wrong, I am so ready to get my hands on those babies I can barely type right now. I am more in love with these two little people that I have yet to met than I can even say. But that doesn't change the fact that our lives are about to change and that makes me a bit sad.

I am madly, crazily in love with The Esquire and I adore our life together. I love spending time with him. People always ask what it was like to travel with him for 14 months...just the two of us, and I always jump to say just how perfect it was. I would happily spend 24/7 with him for the rest of my life if I could. I am selfish with his time and his attention...in a nutshell, I want it all.

So as ready as I am for this next chapter in our lives to begin, I'm also a bit sad that this last chapter is ending. Never again will it be just the two of us. Never again will we sit around and wonder about who will make up our family. Never again will I have The Esquire all to myself.

Again, please don't misunderstand me, I can't wait to see The Esquire as a father. I daydream about the Wonder Twins with their noses pressed to the window waiting to see his car coming down the street at the end of the day. I can't wait till we go traveling as a foursome and we get to see the world through their little eyes. I can't wait to see who we will all become once we all have one another. But none of that changes the fact that I'm in mourning for the life we are leaving behind.

And I think that's ok. I mean, isn't there some quote about in order to move forward you have to look backwards? Something like that? Well, there should be.

Anyway... that's where I am tonight. I can be jittery and giddy and excited tomorrow about our future, tonight is all about where we are right now. And that's why I'm going to stop writing now so I can go enjoy my last evening alone with my man.

Talk to you in a few weeks... ciao!
xox-Kat

PS... ok, because the blog posts with pictures of nurseries are always my favorites, I can't sign off without showing you ours...and a few comments about some of my favorite things...

The blue and white quilt was made by my mom for my older brother when he was a baby. The mobile is from Dharmsala, India (home of the Dalai Lama) and is made up of the eight auspicious symbols of Buddhism. We've had it in storage for 3 years, just waiting for the nursery.

The woodblock print on the wall was made by Jana Funderburks and the HOPE print was made by Robert Indiana for the Obama campaign. Most of the toys are from the 70's and were purchased by The Esq on ebay.

The fabulous world map was a gift from my godsister (after I pretty much asked her for it every day since we went on the wait list). The brown thing on the edge of the crib is actually a cool toy bag my mom made for my brother and me when we were babies. Fret not, it won't stay there, we just haven't figured out where to hang it yet. And hanging on the door is Amitabh, the nursery's Indian Ambassador. What? Your nursery doesn't have an Ambassador? You really should get one!

Packing under a full moon.

I have so much I want to write about...so many bloger-sations run through my head all day long but I never find time to sit and write them all down. Since the moment we passed court and were told we would travel in 2 weeks I have been constantly running. Here it is, 11pm, and at this moment I am doing a load of laundry, hard boiling eggs, sterilize-boiling bottle nipples, and downloading podcasts, all while trying to jot down a few things here. Those of you who have been given 2 weeks to travel understand where I am at mentally, emotionally and physically... must multi-task at all times!

And it's not that I have such incredibly important things to write about but still, it's nice to jot it down, to have it here so we can look back later and remember this crazy time unlike any other.

I want to write about how, at my very core, I Am A Traveler. I love to go, see, move, do, sit in new places were I don't understand the language. I like to take long trips with very few possessions. I have a habit of quitting my job and taking off for 6 months to continents I've never been to before. And when you are a Traveler, that means you are a very good packer. I know how much contact solution I use in a month down to the ounce. I actually like only having 3 outfits to choose from for months and months at a time. I know which adapters to use in which countries. I routinely suck the air out of ziplock bags in order to flatten my clothes even more so I can use a smaller suitcase. I designed and had my mom sew my own special hidden money pockets that I use in place of those stupid money belts that everyone can see a mile away. I am good at selecting and packing essentials for long trips. It's what I do, it's who I am.

I am now in over my head.

All day my head runs in circles....How many cans of formula do I need for 8 feedings x 8 days x two kids? How many diapers for two kids who may or may not get sick? Wait, I need bottle liners? Do I want more short sleeve onesies or more long sleeve onesies? How many pairs of socks do non-walking 4 month olds really need? Do I need lice medication and scabies medication? What are scabies? Wait--my kids don't have hair--cancel the lice meds! How many wipes... two for each diaper change, 8 changes a day x two kids for 8 days, that's 256 wipes! If Twin A weighs 12lbs and eats 4-5 oz every 3-4 hours and Twin B weighs 9.5lbs and eats 3-4 oz every 2-3 hours than how many bottle nipples do I need to bring?

Did I mention I know how much contact solution to take on a 4 month trek through SE Asia?

I want to write about the nursery. Which is a lovely hodge podge of old and new and borrowed and bought and even a few things bartered. We have lots of trinkets from our travels and even a few things from when we were both babies. Because the first thing we got for the nursery was the Robert Indiana HOPE print (created for Obama's campaign) the nursery has somehow become a red, white and blue theme. Sometimes I find The Esquire just sitting in the nursery, looking at all the little things, dreaming of what's to come.

I want to write about how simultaneously overjoyed and terrified I am. I was a nanny for a few years, so I know what it's like to spend all day with two kids. But those kids were different ages and more importantly, they weren't MINE. I went home at 6pm. Don't get me wrong, I still love those kids with all my might but they weren't mine. On Monday Aug 17th someone will hand us two humans... and they WILL be mine. Forever. For EVER. That is the happiest and scariest word I know these days.

I want to write about how fabulous all our friends and family have been since we passed court. My mom went out and instantly bought a pack and play so the twins have a place to sleep at her house. My father-in-law tracked down an old friend in Addis Ababa so we will have a friend to show us around. Our neighbors have been popping by offering to run little errands. My best girlfriends have been sending us hand-me-downs. This lovely lady put up with me for 5 hours as I hemmed and hawed over changing pad covers and debated the ethics of all little girls clothes having "Princess" stitched on them. She took me by the hand and said "this lotion, this diaper cream, this bathtub." She is the only reason I am not still standing in Target right now trying to decide between the blue blanket and the green one.

I want to write about the amazing full moon that is out tonight. There was a time when I could tell you exactly where I had been for every full moon for almost a 3 yr span. I always look at the full moon and wonder where I'll be the next time it comes around. Tonight it hit me, with a jolt, that the next time the Man in the Moon is at his fullest I'll be home, with my husband. And children. You would think after a year of waiting and 6 days of non-stop shopping that that thought wouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. At what point will this be old hat?

I want to write about so much more but the washer is done and the eggs are over boiled (I did pause to rescue the nipples). It's almost midnight...almost Thursday Aug 6th...almost one day closer to meeting our kids....