Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Megabit 22

Today I stood in the grocery store and pondered cupcake mixes. I am not a cook of any sort but occasionally I can pull off a mix. The Esquire is an amazing cook and an even more amazing baker (pies are his specialty) but tonight he had work to do so the cupcakes were up to me. "Supreme Moist" "Deluxe Moistness" "With Pudding in the Mix" So many choices. So many unnecessary uses of the word "moist." I decided to trust Solomon and went with the Pillsbury.

I then bought giant '1' candles...two of them. It was a crazy, giddy moment for me...buying those candles. I have to admit I grinned all the way through check-out and walking to my car. And then I Facebooked about the candles! For someone who never wanted kids I sure am getting a thrill out of the little things.

Tomorrow my babies, my twins, turn one year old. April 1st. Or as they say in Ethiopia, Megabit 23, 2002.

Tomorrow there will be cupcakes.

There will be presents

and there will be crowns.

And in a week there will be a big party with lots of friends and family, a party that, odds are, the twins will sleep through. But regardless we are celebrating this milestone and these two sweet lives with gusto and joy and a bouncy house. I have never been so excited about a birthday celebration in my life. I mean seriously excited. There has been monogramming, people!

But all through my excitement this week, and now as I wait for the cupcakes to bake....I can't help but think about the twin's Ethiopian family. I wonder what they are thinking right now, how they are feeling. Are they remembering this time last year? Do they remember it with happiness or sadness? Are they like me and have been counting down to this date? Or has it suddenly slipped up on them; taken their breath away that a whole year has passed.

I wish I wish I wish I could let them know that everything is ok. That Baby Boy has the most delicious, giggly squeal and eyes that actually twinkle. And that Baby Girl has a smile that lights up your heart and a wicked sense of humor. They are loving and brilliant and funny and healthy and perfect in every way. I wish I could tell our Ethiopian family that.

Yes, of course we can send them updates and letters and such. But I wish I wish I wish I could tell them this NOW. On the night before the first birthday, I wish I could tell them that the twins know love...they know it in three languages and two time-zones and a million memories and stories and whispers. I wish I could call them up, right now, on this night that I imagine is as emotional for them as it is for me, and tell them these things.

But I can't. I can't email them or Facebook them or call them on the phone. Thankfully there will be candles on cupcakes tomorrow. Candles to wish upon. I guess for now, I'll just have to rely on those.

xoxo- Kat


  1. Happy Birthday Wonder Twins! You have the best birthday in the whole wide world ;)

  2. You probably won't be surprised that this post made me cry.

    I might have to use it as the first in our new series of reciprocal 'too tired to blog so I linked to this instead' agreement.

    Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY babies!

  3. Yes, our priorities are changing when we begin Facebooking about candles - HA! That's excellent!
    I'm not familiar with what consists of a child update (yet) but are you allowed to print this post and include it? You said it so well.
    Happy Megabit 23, 2002!!!

  4. Happy Birthday sweet twinks. Hugs to you. Our children's birthdays will always be bittersweet methinks.

  5. so beautifully written. the twins do know love...what a precious gift that is. Happy 1st Birthday sweet babies!!

  6. Oh, KAT!! How beautiful is this post?! And those cupcakes? PERFECTION. And the crowns? I LOVE THEM.

    Happy, happy birthday darling ones....

  7. speechless... I am so excited and happy for you and the twins to be celebrating this wonderful & momentous time together. And, speechless at the love you share with a family across the world who brought your beautiful babes into the world. Celebrate the Joy!!!

  8. Happy birthday, precious babies. Love the crowns, btw. Did you make them? Waiting for the arrival of my own daughter, I often think of her now with a bittersweet feeling. Wanting to love her and the things that are precious about a baby, but feeling, just emotional about her family. Enjoy the cupcakes!

  9. Kat, beautiful. I know what you mean about the birth family. We got our court date yesterday and I have been surprised by the fact that all day I have thinking about their birth mom--wondering if she knows the date yet, how it is making her feel, if she will get to see the boys and whether seeing them will give her any peace knowing that they have grown so chubby and chatty. I understand why we cannot have contact, but it is sad that we can't.

    Happy birthday and love to your precious twins! I can't believe they are a year old already, and that it has been almost a year since you got your referral! I remember that day well. It was the first and only time I felt a pang of jealousy at someone elses referral--I wanted twins so badly!! Hehe--funny how things work out sometimes :-)

  10. Oh Kat beautiful post. Hope you all had one great big wonderful day!!

  11. Happy (late) b-day baby girl and boy! Amen to all the mixed emotions of the birthdays ... K turns one on the 15th. Loved the crowns. Might have to copy that one!