April was a BIG month!

Quick! Before May ends let me try to capture April! It was a pretty big month for us, much too big to write about in depth so for the sake of keeping a record and for Popi's parents (our only readers :-) here are a few highlights.

We got teeth...Baby Girl has 3 and Baby Boy has 2. With teeth comes table food! So far they like almost everything--hummus, guac, pasta, peas, carrots, beans-any kind, olives, pizza, tofu, cherries, oranges, pineapple, papaya, turkey, baby corn, fesenjoon (Persian pomegranate dish), tomatoes, potatoes... Basically, the salad bar is their friend. But oddly, Baby Boy cries when you give him strawberries?! Go figure



We started walking! Baby Boy has been walking by way of the push toy for a couple of months and a few weeks ago he started to actually walk, unaided across the room. The first time he took four steps I cried so hard it's a wonder he actually got up and tried again. I'm thrilled he's walking but seriously...so soon?

Baby Girl took her time but she's now a wonder with the push toys too. Actually they will push anything in front of them--the strollers, our outdoor vases, each other...



With walking comes shoes. Here Baby Boy tests out some blue sandals and tastes some red Mary Jane's. Even before I wanted kids, I wanted to bronze little baby shoes. My mom has both mine and my brother's baby shoes bronzed and I've always loved them. Sadly, cute first shoes are a thing of the past. Most of the boys "first walkers" shoes are more like Teva's and the girls are crazy bright pink sneakers. Where are the little saddle oxfords and white ankle lace ups?


We take a weekly swimming class. It's not really a swimming class so much as it's a survival class. The point is to make them feel so comfortable in the water that if they should fall in, they would automatically roll over and float. Baby Girl hated it at first but now she's Esther Williams. We just got back from vacation at the beach and every day someone would comment on how amazing and relaxed the twins were in the water.





We celebrated birthdays...The twins turned ONE! I have never looked forward to a birthday party more than I did this one. And if I say so myself, it was a great party! A crazy, fun, loving mix of friends from all parts of our lives came to celebrate the Wonder Twin's first year. There was singing...


...and playing in the cottage their Grandpa gave them (I love how there are 7 little girls in that cottage and none of them are actually playing together). Baby Girl is in the pink crown of course.

There was playing in the ball pit, a very cool hand-me-down from a very cool friend. Here Baby Girl displays both her grace and her bloomers.

And there was a bouncy house. I'll admit...I was hesitant on the bouncy house. But The Esq insisted and he was, as always, right. It was a hit--with the kids, the twins, and the adults. After the party The Esq and the twins played in there for almost an hour...they just crawled and fell and giggled back and forth while he bounced them around. I'm sure they bounced in their dreams for the next week; they loved it. Here The Esquire displays his moves.


But I guess the biggest event happened on April 28th, in LA County's Edmund D. Edelman Children's Court when we finalized the re-adoption of the twins. We all got dressed up (Baby Girl looked pretty cute in her red, white, and blue dress if I do say so myself :-) and our nanny Graciela went with us. The Edelman Children's Courthouse is pretty unique. It was designed specifically with the idea of making children feel comfortable during what are often stressful times. There were volunteers helping with art projects, big sun-filled rooms, and brightly colored walls. Sadly, not every family or child was there for a happy appointment like us but at least the Court has done it's best to take some of the yuck out.

The meeting with the Judge took about 15 mins. It seems he read EVERY bit of our home study, asking us very specific questions about our travels and studies. The twins missed their morning nap for this appointment so by the time we meet with the Judge they were a little wound up and punchy. Baby Girl spent most of the meeting undoing all of the The Esquires carefully organized files. On our way out the clerk gave the twins each a teddy bear as part of the Comfort for Kids program. Every child adopted in the Edelman Children's Court gets a teddy bear to help celebrate the occasion.

For an event that was mainly about paperwork, it was oddly moving. When we held up our right hands and swore to "bestow upon them all the rights of a natural-born child" I got a little teary. And yet, it also seemed so beside the point. I mean, to be totally honest, any oaths, promises, and allegiances we made to these two children happened back on June 8, 2009 when we saw their faces for the first time. And any repromising was done on August 16, 2009 when we held them for the first time. No amount of paperwork or notarization could make our bonds with these two any tighter or more secure. But that being said, it was pretty fun to declare it in public.

And there you have it... our crazy busy April 2010. Oh, well, there was also our 5 yr wedding anniversary, and my birthday and my father's birthday and my nephew's birthday... but considering May ends in 10 days I think I need to wrap April up now!

xoxo-Kat

Why it's good to be a twin, #724

There is always someone to push your car.

xoxo0-Kat

THIS April 16th...

I'm assuming that at some point I will have to stop playing the "what were we doing this time last year and just look what we're doing THIS YEAR!" game. But for now it's kinda fun to think about how far we've come and how much has changed in a year.

Last year on April 16th I posted this blog entry about each place The Esquire and I have celebrated our wedding anniversary. Someone commented that they hoped we'd always get to celebrate our anniversary in special ways and amazing places.

Well, I'm proud to say that we've managed to keep up the tradition. Here's where we were this year, for our 5 year anniversary.

Yup. The little stinkers. Doesn't it seem like Baby Girl is keeping look-out for Baby Boy? "Keep going! No one is coming!"

And this is that Wonder Twin Thing you dream about but then learn to dread... the tag team thought process. You can see them working out the next move together.

Don't worry, that candelabra is earthquake-proofed within an inch of its life. It won't move no matter how hard he pulls or the earth shakes.

Maybe it wasn't the most exotic celebration (I guess that depends on how you feel about the bathroom) but it was still the sweetest anniversary we've had.

xoxo-Kat

How we spent Easter Weekend

I'll admit that between the 1st birthday (last week) and the 1st birthday party (coming up)...I kinda forgot about Easter. And so sadly my kids were seersucker-less and sans eyelet. Next year I'll be better prepared for the double whammy of birthday and Easter.

But even without going to church or being visited by a large rabbit...it was still a perfect weekend.

The twins hung out in their cool new cottage (thanks Grandpa!) and took turns riding in their new Crazy Coup (thanks Graciela!).

(notice those cute cloth diapered bums!)

And here's the highlight of the weekend...

Yup. He's mobile. In two days Baby Boy totally mastered his new Mail Cart walker. Any time he wasn't in his new car or his new house was spent walking determinedly back and forth across the yard. My favorite part of this video--when he realizes he can't go any further and says, "oh." Such cuteness. I also appreciate that he made the video blog-usable by never turning to face his mother!

Happy April everyone...
xoxo-Kat

Megabit 22

Today I stood in the grocery store and pondered cupcake mixes. I am not a cook of any sort but occasionally I can pull off a mix. The Esquire is an amazing cook and an even more amazing baker (pies are his specialty) but tonight he had work to do so the cupcakes were up to me. "Supreme Moist" "Deluxe Moistness" "With Pudding in the Mix" So many choices. So many unnecessary uses of the word "moist." I decided to trust Solomon and went with the Pillsbury.

I then bought giant '1' candles...two of them. It was a crazy, giddy moment for me...buying those candles. I have to admit I grinned all the way through check-out and walking to my car. And then I Facebooked about the candles! For someone who never wanted kids I sure am getting a thrill out of the little things.

Tomorrow my babies, my twins, turn one year old. April 1st. Or as they say in Ethiopia, Megabit 23, 2002.

Tomorrow there will be cupcakes.

There will be presents

and there will be crowns.

And in a week there will be a big party with lots of friends and family, a party that, odds are, the twins will sleep through. But regardless we are celebrating this milestone and these two sweet lives with gusto and joy and a bouncy house. I have never been so excited about a birthday celebration in my life. I mean seriously excited. There has been monogramming, people!

But all through my excitement this week, and now as I wait for the cupcakes to bake....I can't help but think about the twin's Ethiopian family. I wonder what they are thinking right now, how they are feeling. Are they remembering this time last year? Do they remember it with happiness or sadness? Are they like me and have been counting down to this date? Or has it suddenly slipped up on them; taken their breath away that a whole year has passed.

I wish I wish I wish I could let them know that everything is ok. That Baby Boy has the most delicious, giggly squeal and eyes that actually twinkle. And that Baby Girl has a smile that lights up your heart and a wicked sense of humor. They are loving and brilliant and funny and healthy and perfect in every way. I wish I could tell our Ethiopian family that.

Yes, of course we can send them updates and letters and such. But I wish I wish I wish I could tell them this NOW. On the night before the first birthday, I wish I could tell them that the twins know love...they know it in three languages and two time-zones and a million memories and stories and whispers. I wish I could call them up, right now, on this night that I imagine is as emotional for them as it is for me, and tell them these things.

But I can't. I can't email them or Facebook them or call them on the phone. Thankfully there will be candles on cupcakes tomorrow. Candles to wish upon. I guess for now, I'll just have to rely on those.



xoxo- Kat

The 6 month reminder.

Their first time in a swing, Valentine's Day 2010

This week marks our 6 month anniversary as parents. Holy Hannah, where does the time go?

When people ask what has been the most surprising part of parenthood, I have to say: the mere fact that I love it. That sounds silly, but trust me, no one is more surprised than I am about how much fun I’m having.

I never wanted kids. Ever. Now that we have our 2nd post placement interview safely behind us I feel like I can really say that out loud and not be afraid of the repercussions. I spent 39 years actively not wanting kids.

It wasn't because I didn't like kids...I did. Always have. I worship my friends’ children… think they all hung the moon. But I loved my life. I loved being selfish about MY life. And I’ve never been very good with the whole “forever” concept. Having to do something forever (hence my finding a new job every 4 years or so). Being with someone forever (hence my history of only dating people for 3 years). Living somewhere forever (hence my need to travel and move relatively often). The thought of being a parent…of feeling responsible forever to/for a child did not interest me.

But (you know where this is going don’t you?) all that changed when I meet The Esquire. Ok…not all of it. I did start believing in being with one man forever and a day. But I was still not into having my own kids. Which was a problem because The Esq. is one of those men born to be a father and so early on in our dating life he made it clear that having a family was a deal breaker. So I reluctantly agreed. On the rare occasion when I did ponder having children, I had always assumed it would be through adoption. So we looked into it and decided that yes, our kids were in Ethiopia.

But even as I spent 4 months filling out adoption paperwork, I wasn’t entirely sold on the idea of having kids. And I spent most of the 10 months on the waitlist thinking, ‘how did this happen? I don’t want kids!” But I wanted the call. I wanted to see their faces. I wanted to know who these kids would be. I wanted to see The Esq. with his children. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a mom, you know…FOREVER.

So here I am... 6 months into having children that I never wanted.

I would like to take this opportunity and use this very public venue to say for once and for all:

The Esquire was right.

I was wrong.

I was completely, naively, stupidly, wrong and he was 100% right.

Having children is the second greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

I am head over heels, crazy-stupid, playing “In Your Eyes” on my boom box outside their nursery, totally in love with these two little humans. My Children. Just smelling their heads is like drinking the kool-aid every day. I have become one of THOSE parents. The kind of parent who can’t carry on a normal conversation anymore. Instead of asking how my friends are, I spend the whole time saying things like, "Did you see that? How he blew that bubble? Oh, watch this--he drools! Wait--did you see how she did that? How she breathes? In and out, in and out? Amazing!"

My name is Kat and I am obsessed with my children. Please send your 12 step brochures care of Little Ethiopian.

I always said (and totally believed) that my choice to not have kids was just a matter of picking and choosing the kind of life I wanted. If I had kids I would be happy but would have to give up some things. If I didn't have kids I would also be happy but would miss out on some things. No biggie, you pick the kind of life you want most and go forward, right? Wrong. Here’s what I've come to realize in the past 6 months: These kids were not a choice for me. They were a necessity I just didn't know about. They are right up there with food, water and shelter. I honestly do not see how I could have continued living my life without them. In a nutshell--I made plans and God laughed at me.

Crazy huh?

But the fact that I love being a mom is not the only thing that has caught me off guard these past 6 months. No, I think it’s fair to say that every day has been eye opening for me in every single way. I had no idea…well, about anything really. I mean, you can read and research all you want but until they hand those babies to you it is all just a pile of words. Plus, (and this is a little bit of wisdom for waiting families) I spent my time on the wait list reading stacks of books about trans-racial families and how to talk about adoption, how first graders perceive color and the cultural implications of cornrows. I never once opened a ‘normal’ baby book. So while I was able to talk about race issues with teenagers, I had no idea what or how much to feed 4 month olds!

Here are just a few other things I had no idea about before Aug 25^th:

• I had no idea how much fun little babies are…I thought they needed to be older to have personality.
• I had no idea how in love I would be with their fat little wrists. I always thought baby feet were the best, now I realize that’s wrong—it’s their wrists that get you!
• I had no idea how sad I would be every time they outgrew something or how ecstatic I would be at the sight of a first tooth.
• I had no idea how easy it would be put all my focus on the twins; ignoring my husband in the process. Suddenly marriage is a lot more work than it was before.
• On the flip side, I had no idea that I could possibly love The Esq. more until I saw him napping with his son.
• I had no idea that I would begin to question every single decision every single day... should I feed them more or less cereal, should they go to bed earlier, should I wake them from their naps, should I use a regular sippy cup or a straw sippy cup, should they wear socks or not, should we continue to read the same 4 books they love or should we try new ones…
• I had no idea how adept I would become at holding things with my chin or picking things up with my toes.
• I had no idea how small my lap was until two babies both wanted to be in it at the same time. Or the guilt I would feel at not having 4 arms. The guilt…I had NO idea about the guilt.
• I had no idea how freaked out I would be over their first fever.
• I had no idea how much I would miss them when they are asleep (not enough to wake them of course, but enough to go look at them 8 times a night)
• I had no idea of the celebrity-ness of twins when we go out in public.
• I had no idea how fast they grow and change and learn! They are SO SMART it’s scary.
• I had no idea how much I would crave their love or how much I would fear not always having it.
• I had no idea. About anything it seems.

I was clueless. And maybe that’s why the past 6 months have been so amazing and eye opening to me…I was clueless. Ignorance is bliss, that kinda thing.

But I’m learning. I know where Baby Boy’s tickle spot is. I know which foods make Baby Girl gag (anything w/ ground beef). I know Baby Girl likes to sleep flat on her tummy with arms outstretched like she’s flying and Baby Boy likes to sleep on his side with his hands clasped ready to sing a capella. I know they love the lid to the toy cookie jar more than any other toy around. I know Baby Girl likes to sit in my lap to be held whereas Baby Boy likes to stand in my lap leaning into me. I know Baby Boy will automatically try to put any new thing in his mouth but Baby Girl will smell it first. I know that Baby Boy needs a bit of cuddling after a nap but that Baby Girl wants to play immediately. I know the difference in their ‘we want attention’ cry and their ‘we’re hurt’ cry. I know how to help them stop crying. I know them. Or at least I’m beginning to.

Please don’t think this blog is about how perfect my life is. I mean, life is perfect, but perfect does not equal easy. The Wonder Twins may be the two most glorious creatures on the planet, but that doesn’t mean the past 6 months have been all rainbows and sing-alongs. They are babies after all. Two of ‘em. Who left everything they knew to come home with us. There were sleep issues and scheduling issues and now there are teething issues and sibling jealousy issues. Oh, and parasite issues, don’t forget those.

I’m not trying to gloss over anything, it’s just that this particular blog entry isn’t about all that. I wrote this entry for me. To help me remember just how far I’ve come in the past six months (or 39 years depending on how you want to look at it.) To be a reminder that sometimes the very thing you don’t want the most, turns out to be the very thing you need to survive.

Like Meredith on Gray's Anatomy, I've always imagined myself to be all dark and twisty. But it turns out I'm not...at least I'm not anymore. Now I'm crafty and goofy and unbearably sunny. I sing nonsense tunes at the top of my voice as we walk and make zerburt noises in restaurants...anything for a smile or two. Suddenly, my glass is overflowing and that just makes me laugh.

This life that I have now, this crazy, hard, funny, amazing, sleepless, poop-filled life—the very one I ran from for 39 years—has turned out to be way better than I could have ever wished for.

Watching for DaDa to come home.

xoxo, Kat

For those of you waiting...

Today marks our 5 month anniversary of being in the states together as a family of four. Where does the time go? The picture above is our most current family photo. How much do you love Baby Boy's shoes??

As it happens, today was also the twins 9 month check up. They are, much like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way. They babbled and smiled and did all their little tricks for the doctor. She was pleased and declared them right on target developmentally. Which is a relief to hear because considering these are our first and only kids we have no idea what they should be able to do by now. And the books just make things more confusing. What to Expect in the First Year says they should be able to eat a cracker by 6 months! A cracker! How? They have no teeth!

As far as their stats: Baby boy is a whooping 24lbs and 30" long...that's the 89th percentile for those of you who understand that jargon. Baby Girl is a bit more petite but long: 17lbs and 28" (21st and 52% respectively). Again, the doctor is pleased with their growth--the amount of weight they have put on over the past five months is right on target.

For those of you waiting to bring your babies home--here is why this should matter to you: When we got home five months ago, neither baby weighed enough to register on the percentile chart. They were teeny tiny then but look what five months can do.

Here's another little story for those of you with babies in the Gladney care centers right now: Just last week a friend admitted to me that she had actually met the twins when they were in Addis. While she was in Ethiopia picking up her daughter, she toured the baby houses and saw the care givers holding four week old twins. They had just arrived at the care center the day before and were horribly malnourished and sick. My friend said when she saw how tiny and fragile these babies were she got all teary because she didn't think they would make it. She spoke to the staff and was told the caregivers would hold and feed the twins non-stop around the clock to make sure they were ok.

Fast forward 5 weeks and we get our referral call for two month old twins. When my friend sees our referral photos for the first time she gets very silent. I assume she's all choked up with happiness for us, but in reality she recognizes our twins as those same fragile tiny twins she meet in Addis and she's scared for us. Scared because she saw first hand what a long road they had before them health wise. But she's not a doctor so instead of scaring us with her opinion she decides to not mention having met the twins.

Fast forward again to last week when we have a play date with my friend and her daughter. Baby Boy and Baby Girl are rolling and scooting everywhere, laughing and hugging and being normal 9 month old babies. My friend finally confesses that she had met them in Ethiopia. She was afraid I would be angry that she hadn't told me this before now. But how could I be angry? On the contrary this knowledge feels like a surprise gift. Because now we know of someone, someone we already considered a friend nonetheless, who saw the twins before we did. Who had them in her heart long before we knew they existed. An eyewitness who can confirm what we have believed all along, that the Gladney care givers really did love on our babies every second of every day until we got there. I mean, come on, that's amazing! I am grateful beyond words.

I know how hard the wait is...I know how afraid you can be at 3am for your children waiting in Ethiopia but try to find a little peace of mind that they are definitely being loved on, and that one day--before you can blink an eye--they will most likely be in the 89th percentile too.

xoxo-
Kat