This time last year OR Our first Christmas

This time last year we had been on the wait list for 3.5 months and I was seriously deep into my adoption blog obsession, reading every blog I could find about adoption and/or Ethiopia. Sometimes obsessions are bad things (remember my search for the 'right' crib skirts?) but sometimes obsessions are cool avenues to great things. My blog obsession helped introduce me to this lovely mama who in turn invited me to join her Ladies in Waiting lunch group.

When I joined the Ladies in Waiting there were 7 of us all adopting from Ethiopia. Two had just gotten referrals, two were still doing the paperwork and the other three of us were in different places on the wait list. It was amazing to sit down and get to meet people on our same journey, to meet them In Person rather than just through words on a blog.

But as amazing as it was to meet these women, the true highlight of that lunch for me was when a recently ousted member of the Ladies in Waiting wandered in with her daughter, Mimi. They had been back from Ethiopia as a family for only two weeks at that point and I remember thinking as I touched little Mimi's hand "she still has Ethiopia on her..." It was like a celebrity sighting for me! I mean, here, in the flesh, was what we were all working towards...in 3-d, right in front of me... eating lemon slices! I can't explain why Mimi made such an impact. She was (is!) adorable but I think it was the fact that they had just come home, they had just crossed the finish line and that made it all seem so..... possible! When The Esq picked me up after lunch all I could talk about was Heather, Chris and Mimi and Mimi and Mimi and MIMI! He kept asking, "so who else was at lunch?" and I'd say, "and then Mimi scrunched up her nose! Her nose that was smelling Ethiopian air just 14 days ago!"

This weekend we took the twins to our neighborhood Christmas tree lot to pick out a tree. As we walked there I kept remembering Heather's blog entry from Christmas last year when they took Mimi to get a tree. I must have looked at those photos a thousand times... imagining what that must feel like, to do something as simple as picking a tree with your new child. And now, here we were, doing that exact thing. It just felt so full circle to me... I had wished upon Heather's photos and now here we were stepping into our own version. I, of course, cried at the hugeness of the moment.


That night, after The Esq hung the lights, we did the big reveal for the twins. They were whiny and fussy and I'm sure wondering why we were all sitting in the dark but as soon as we plugged in the Christmas tree lights everything stopped. The only sound was of their eyes widening in surprise. And we sat like that, the four of us, in silence, just looking, for a good 5 minutes (which is 4 mins longer then they have ever sat still before!). And every morning since, I have cuddled up on the sofa with Baby Boy (our early riser) and we have just stared at those Christmas lights while waiting for the rest of the family to get up. 6 am has never been sweeter. I might have to drape our houseplants in twinkly lights come January so this never ends.



December has just barely started and I am already a happy, sobbing mess over all the symbolism and joy of this holiday with children.... with my children.... I've said it before but I'll say it again...I just had no idea it could be like this.

Who knows if I'll get back to this blog before the end of the year so let me just go ahead now and wish you and yours the happiest of times. May you all feel as joyful and full as I do this year.

xoxoox,
Kat, The Esq, and The Wonder Twins


A few updates:

*Since we are traveling for most of December, we opted to get a tiny tree this year with just lights on it. But you can see I have hung three very special ornaments: The black and white Africa was made by my friend Harmony (you can have one too... just go here!), the two red hearts were made by our 5 yr old friend Pippa to celebrate the twins first Christmas, and the wooden cross on the bottom right was made for me by a boy at the Kolfe orphanage in Addis.

*Mimi and her parents are currently on the wait list again awaiting word on her new sister... fingers crossed, they could get The Call any day now! Now THAT would be a cool Christmas present!

*Of the 7 Ladies in Waiting--5 of us have our children home (a total of seven kids!), one lady put her adoption on hold and the 7th has her court date this Friday for her adorable little boy! We all gathered together this past weekend for a holiday party...all the kids in one room... the joy, the noise, the happiness...

Times they are a-changing

**First off let me say how much I have LOVED reading everyone's daily entries for NaPoBlogMoTaMaMa...or whatever the acronym for "write one blog entry a day for all of November" is. It's been so great 'catching ' up with all of you... I hope you all continue the acronym into December!

*******

We have made it to the 3 month mark in this new game called "Family." Last Monday was the three month anniversary of the first time we held our babies. The first time we touched their crazy soft skin, smelled their sweet-sour-delicious baby smells, gazed into their chocolate fountain eyes. And this Tuesday will be the three month anniversary of our walking into our house as a family of four. The first time our babies slept in their beds, played on the rug we bought specially for them, rode in the stroller to our neighborhood coffee shop.

Three months. Where, for the love of god, does the time go? Every day seems to last at least 2 weeks but when I look back it barely seems like we got home yesterday...certainly not 90 days ago!

Things are changing so fast...and with every change my heart simultaneously soars and breaks. With every little shirt they outgrow I grieve a little but I am thrilled at how well they are growing (Baby boy is in the 68%! This is the same boy who wasn't even on the charts three months ago!). I was exhilarated the first time they rolled over but devastated when that meant they stopped sleeping on their sides (with their little hands clasped in acapella singer style) in favor of sleeping on their tummies. Every day they do something new and amazing but that means they leave something else behind. Don't get me wrong, I want my children to grow and learn and change...just not so fast!!!

In an effort to not forget anything as time speeds by me, here's a brief list of some of the things that have changed since we first met the Wonder Twins....

When we first met the twins they were lovable lumps. Lumps that took two whole arms to hold so they wouldn't slump down or fall backwards. Now they actively participate in being held. They ride on my hip with their hand causally placed on my shoulder while they glance around surveying their kingdom.


When we first met, they smiled at any and everyone who crossed their path. Now they save those big, whole face smiles for us and are a bit slower to smile at strangers. When being held by new people they will both search frantically to find us. Once they see we are right there, then they are comfortable examining the new person.


When we first met they were bald. Then Baby Girl had one curl.

And now she has this!

They went from a slight dusting of hair...

To this! A mound (sorta) of soft, downy, curly/wavy hair on top of both their heads and crazy half curl laurels all round the sides.

When we first met, their only way of communicating with us was through long soulful gazes and occasionally whimpers. Now Baby Boy has full command of his ga, da, ba sounds and Baby Girl has a throaty growl that she likes to change pitch, volume and length of depending on what she's trying to get across.



When we first met they were immobile. We could lay them down on the foyer rug while we brought in the stroller and knew they would still be right there when we were done. Three months ago my living room looked like this (plus a few, tasteful, wooden toys).

This is my living room now. We have a full blown Baby Jail to keep the tumbleweeds (and plastic stuff) contained. They roll and scoot backwards and as of this week are starting to drag themselves forward using one arm and their chins.


And where they used to just lay side by side playing quietly with toys dangling above them... now they sit up and fight over toys in their laps!


When we first met, they had no interest or knowledge of each other. Now, Baby Boy will stare at Baby Girl for 4 or 5 mins at a time. She'll just be sitting there chewing on her toy or her toes and he'll just watch her. Occasionally cracking up in baby giggles. The other day I found them having such an intense mind-meld staring contest that I almost felt like the third wheel.

Which reminds me... they laugh now. Big hi-pitched fully formed laughs. At first it was like a car motor that won't quite turn over--one little burst of gaha!-- but now the giggles just pour forward.

When we first met Baby Girl, she had old lady wrists. You know what I mean...saggy skin that was all wrinkly and too big for her.
Now, three months and 5lbs later she has the perfect baby rubber band wrists. You know, the plush, pudgy wrists that look like a rubber band is making the crease.


When we first met them, Baby Girl pooed every time she'd have a bottle. Like clockwork. It was helpful when we needed to supply the local clinic in Addis with fresh poo because we knew all it took was a bottle. But now, they are both so grown up they just poo when ever! And all the time...5-6 times a day, with no set schedule!

The one thing that hasn't changed is how gorgeous they are...and how funny and charming and brilliant. Developmentally they are beyond their targets. Except for peek-a-boo. For some reason they still don't get peekaboo. Or maybe they get it but just don't find it very funny.

I don't really have a snappy wrap up for this entry... just things I've been thinking about lately. The mere fact that the twins have been with us long enough for us to notice changes...that in itself is amazing. I had no idea it would be like this...so much fun and joy and sadness all rolled into every minute. I had no idea how fast it would all change. I just had no idea...

Happy Thanksgiving,
Kat

Holiday gift ideas!

So the holidays are coming up and if you are like me then you are probably already stressed about not only WHAT to give all the people on your list but also about how to find time to actually get said items. Well, let me just say, that was the Old Me. The New Me is feeling pretty relaxed because I've figured out what everyone is getting...

My friend Jen is making The. Most. Adorable. Shirts. EVER. Check out her etsy shop: Lil Blu Birds. And if the shirts aren't cool enough on their own...then how about this: Jen is giving 100% of the proceeds from these Most Adorable Shirts for humanitarian aid in Ethiopia. Jen adopted her son from Ethiopia last year and is lucky enough to be going back in a month or so. While there she will be handing out fleece wraps to people on the street and buying cows & goats for the orphanages so the kids can have meat for a change. Warm clothes and food that she bought with the money made from her shirts.

Jen's son Abe in one of her super cool shirts

It's really a no brainer. But just in case you aren't sure yet, let's break it down into pros and cons:

Pros of buying a shirt from Lil Blu Birds:
1-easy peasy Christmas shopping. Just buy one of Jen's shirts and viola! Cross people off your list.

2-easy peasy good karma warm fuzzy feelings. Just buy one of Jen's shirts and viola! You are helping feed orphans and keep homeless people warm at night.

3-easy peasy way to look hip and cool. Just buy one of Jen's shirts and then sit back while your friends and family bask in the fact that they have a one-of-a-kind shirt that helps people.


Cons of buying a shirt from Lil Blu Birds:
(cue cricket noises)

oh, wait, THERE ARE NO CONS!



Go to Jen's etsy shop to see more cute designs (she's putting more up this week)
or
Go to Jen's blog to find out why and how she got started doing this

And start thinking about what you're going to do with all that free time you have this holiday season now that you no longer have to stress about shopping.

The shirts Jen made for my twins...how freakin' cute are they!

You can thank me later....

xoxo-Kat

Things people say *Edited*

Before we brought the twins home (two months ago yesterday!) I did a lot of worrying about what people would say when they saw our mixed race family. I come from the South and so was a bit worried about random comments from random strangers...how would I respond?...how would I explain these comments to our kids?...how would I put these stupid strangers in their place while not loosing face in front of our kids?

For some reason I never anticipated the comments would be positive! Or for that matter, just plain weird. Below is little sample of things people have said to me while I was out and about with the twins....

Homeless man pushing his grocery cart full of recycling past us as we take our morning stroll, "You are just like OctoMom" (ok, I used to be compared to Angelina Jolie...what happened?!?!)

Cute little blond girl-maybe 4 or 5 yrs old- in Beverly Hills, "Look mommy, Brown Babies!" Her mortified mother, "Oh no honey, those aren't brown babies, they are African Babies."

Not 5 minutes later from a cashier at a restaurant...

"They are how old? Wow, you really lost your pregnancy weight quickly!" So in a span of just 5 minutes someone said I had African babies and someone else thought I gave birth.

"Hey, look at these cute dolls Trader Joe's is selling...OMG they are real!" I'm not making this up. A lady actually thought the twins were a display of some sort.

"Been there." From an older lady dressed in all white (white blouse, crisply pressed white trousers, white silk man's vest, white straw panama hat and a huge white cameo ring). She then proceeded to tell me how she had only been expecting one baby "the other one hid" and therefore got the surprise of her life when they "pulled another one out." Her boys are now in their late 40's but apparently used to throw their poo at each other. All this was related while we were in line for coffee.

"They look JUST like you! Your husband must be bummed there's no trace of him in them huh?"

"Adoption?" This from a biker dude we walked past on Larchmont. When we said yes, he stood up and gave us a one man standing ovation.

"Two boys?" This from pretty much everyone we meet even though Baby Girl is, well, a GIRL and I tend to dress her in uber frilly dresses. Not to mention she is petite and has the features of a little pixie while her brother is 4 pounds bigger and already has a comb over! Which brings us to...

"He's bigger than her huh?" Did I mention he's almost 5 pounds heavier then her? And it shows in every way so I find this question kind of odd...obviously yes, he IS bigger. I always want to reply "not really, he's just retaining water weight" or "not normally but he's gaining weight for a role." But of course, I just nod and say yes, he is bigger.

"A boy and a girl...well I guess you're done. Shop closed!"

"Are you the babysitter?" This from two African American women I passed on the street.

"Are you breastfeeding?" Yes, I actually had a complete stranger, on the sidewalk, ask me if I was breastfeeding. Crazy.

But mostly I get comments like "These are the cutest babies I have ever seen" and "You are SO lucky!"

And you know what... they are right :-)
xoxo-Kat

ps...speaking of cute twins... head over here to wish this family double congratulations!

EDIT -- not 2 hours after posting this I was walking into Target with the twins and as I passed a lady with a baby and a toddler she looked at me with pity and said, "Twins. I'll pray for you."

Happy 6 Months! Happy 6 weeks home!

I can't believe I've become one of those bloggers...the kind who comes back from Ethiopia with her unbelievably cute kids and stops writing. Twins...that's my only excuse. If only I could dictate my blog...cause let me tell you, I write some good ones in my head in the shower.

We've been busy since I last posted... The Esquire has gone back to work, making me officially a SAHM (that's 'Stay At Home Mom' for those of you not in the loop). Luckily for me (and the twins) we have found a lovely woman who is going to help out part time. It's amazing how guilty you can feel for only having two hands and one lap!

So since it's pretty clear I can't write much at the moment...here is a pictorial glimpse into our first 6 weeks home as a family...

Here are the twins at Costco... they loved the outside hotdog stand part where people treated them like minor celebrities but they weren't too fond of the actual shopping part. I think this might be our last family trip to Costco.


Needless to say, the twins have spent a lot of time in their sedan of a stroller, which we like to call The Cart in honor of our friend Aynie (another Aynie-ism we've adopted is to say "he's spilling" instead of "he's spitting up"...so much more pleasant don't you think?)

We spend a lot of time strolling the cart around our neighborhood...

Here we are at the La Brea Tar Pits...

And then at the local corner mercado where you can buy injera, lottery tickets, and whiskey...

Here they are kind of enjoying our neighborhood's annual Little Ethiopia Street Fair and Parade.

The fair and parade are an annual elebration of Ethiopia's New Year (Sept 11th), which this year rang in the year 2002 (their calender has 13 months, so they are 7 years behind us). The parade is held about 3 blocks from our house and I was very excited for the twins to take part... even dressed them up in their little Ethiopian outfits. Unfortunately, I forgot how LOUD parades were...we left after the elephant.


That same week the twins received their Green Cards, which means they can legally work in the States now! Sadly, a month later and they are STILL just sitting around playing with their toes. To celebrate their new status we had a Green Card New Year's Party.

We spend most afternoons outside on our back porch watching the hummingbirds

Or on the front sidewalk watching for Dada to come home


Baby Girl has spent a lot of time and energy on her hair, as you can tell from her one curl. I call it her Spike Lee Cindy Loo Who Do

And of course we do A LOT of this...

The twins turned 6 months old earlier this month... they are eating well, sleeping well (at night at least...naps, not so much), rolling like tumbleweeds, sitting up on their own for a few seconds at a time (when not distracted by our cheering) and even starting to steal toys from each other. Our pediatrician has declared them brilliant in every way. Hey, it's not bragging if it comes from a professional.

So that's our last 6 weeks in a nutshell...it's been crazy busy and yet I'm not really sure what we've done other than tummy time and changing diapers. It hasn't all been easy (did I mention the lack of nap schedule?) but it's been fun and for the most part really good.

So here's hoping I actually write something before another 6 weeks passes! But just in case...Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!

xoxo-kat

The search begins...your advice wanted.

If you want to make a group of people laugh tell them you have 5 month old twins and you line dry your laundry. If you want to make a group of people go completely silent with disbelief, tell them you have 5 month old twins and don't have a dishwasher

So I'll admit, the dishwasher thing isn't by choice...but the line drying is. I hate hate hate our energy sucking dryer but luckily I live in Sunny Southern California...it just makes sense to line dry. 10 mins to hang, 2 hours in the sun, and presto...dry clothes. The bonus: I don't have to rush to get them as soon as they are dry so they don't wrinkle. Heck, I can leave them on the drying rack all day! And the bonus bonus is feeling smug that I didn't have to use any electricity.


It seems so simple to me and yet people think I'm crazy for line drying. You would not believe how many people think I will stop line drying now that we have twins.

Everyone has certain ideas about how they want to live. Mine include trying to be as Green as possible; trying to make as little waste as possible. I believe in tote bags versus plastic or paper grocery bags. I believe in walking more than driving...if you have to drive, make it the smallest car possible. I believe in cloth diapers and glass bottles. I believe in composting, recycling, freecycling, and craig's list. I believe in using my own refillable water bottle. I believe in Etsy and other made-by-hand websites. I believe in opening windows rather than using AC. I believe in eating what is for sale at my weekly farmers market. I believe in drought-resistant, California native plants instead of water sucking unnatural green lawns.

Sadly, I don't get to live all these beliefs every day. We rent so the garden is out of my control (though I am strict with the sprinkler usage...no one can accuse us of ignoring the water restrictions.) We live in LA so we have to drive more than I'd like...but we do walk much more than the average Angeleno (the mileage on our last car was so low that when we went to trade it in the dealer accused us of turning the odometer back). And as you all know... my dreams of driving like a European in a tiny car were dashed when faced with the realities of two rear facing car seats. I'm Green but I'm also realistic. I suppose, on the scale of Green living, I'm still a pale, pale lime. But I'm trying. And I don't think having twins means I have to stop trying.

So my next big step in practicing what I preach... cloth diapers. Or a biodegradable diaper. Or last resort, a disposable diaper made of post-consumer recycled content (free range wood pulp anyone?). Surely there must be a diaper out there that can contain my children's poop and yet doesn't have a half life longer than uranium.

And so the research begins. I'm looking into these and these and these. And I have set the goal of cutting down our diaper-footprint by the time the twins are 8 months old. That gives me 3 months to figure it out and 3 months for them to finish getting over any little Ethiopian souvenirs they might have growing in their poop.

Here's where I actively seek your advice. All those who have diapered before me--singleton or twin poo--what did you do for diapers?
Seriously, have you ever seen cuter bums then these? Not to mention the quality of head control and tummy time... but I digress. Diapers people...please help me find a diaper that works AND doesn't exist longer than my kids!

xoxo-Kat

Home again, home again.

So, we're back. We have gone and returned from Ethiopia. And we have returned with two of the most gorgeous, funny, wonderful, gassy babies you have ever seen. Seriously gorgeous. Like, Baby Gap model gorgeous. And seriously gassy. Farts so loud and rumbley they caused people on the plane to comment. Luckily, they are gosh darn cute when they toot...

Our trip was amazing... in every respect. Everyone we meet, everything we saw, tasted, felt, experienced...the good, the bad, the ugly... all of it amazing. We truly lucked out in many, many ways and for that I am grateful. None of us got sick while traveling (though being at home is a different story). Our twins sleep pretty well for 5 month olds...and were superstars on the long flight home. My best friend Lori went with us so we had an experienced mom to help out, our own photographer to help record the week and a good friend to share this special time with all rolled into one. Our paperwork and embassy appointment went super smoothly. We had a chance to visit with family friends while in Addis (and let's face it, going to a friend's home always makes a trip better). We gained a life long friend in Solomon, our wonderful driver. Even the dreaded rainy season was reduced to only one or two crazy, hard, short storms a day. I am sort of embarrassed to talk about how lovely our trip was over all. I know that Ethiopia can be a hard place to visit under any circumstances and that meeting your children and their family, trying to bond and attach...all that can be difficult and heavy but for some reason we lucked out. I am aware of how blessed we are.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all fairy dust and unicorns. We saw heartbreaking things and heard tragic stories. But even in all the heartbreak we were still amazed and in awe by the country, the people, the experience. I am so proud to say my children are Ethiopian.

We have actually been home for almost two weeks. Sorry to leave you all hanging here in BlogLand but it's been hard to write. Why? Well #1-I think I've mentioned that we have twins now. TWINS. Two parents. Two babies. Kinda hard to hand off a kid when your husband is already holding a kid! #2-they are unnaturally cute...so it's hard to tear myself away for a blog. Oh! He made a raspberry noise! And #3-because I'm just not sure what to write. Let me rephrase that...I'm not sure HOW to write this blog now.

I want so badly to post pictures and info on my children. I want to prove to you that they are the world's cutest twins. I want to wax on and on about how crazy soft their skin is (like touching AIR). I want to share every detail of our trip and our return. But... I am hesitant to do that. How can I post pictures and details about my sweet innocent 5 month old children when my own husband chooses to remain anonymous? I could make this blog private but then I'd miss out on all the random visitors. I could make up code names for the twins... Jayna and Zan? And just show you photos like these




Or I could just get over it and out my husband so that we are all equally exposed on the world wide web. What to do, what to do. I'm just not sure yet. I want to keep the blog...I like having a place to put my thoughts and I like your companionship. So I just need to figure out how to go forward. Anyway, that's why I haven't posted until now. But I figured I needed to post something and let you all know I was alive and happily ensconced in a family of four before I got another "WHERE ARE YOU??" comment (which I love by the way! Thanks for missing me!)

Here's something that I can write about now... the other major life changing event I've gone through since we last spoke...

This is what I used to drive. My zoom-zoom, my Mazda 3 hatchback that is perfect in every single way except when it comes to holding 2 rear facing car seats.

This is what I was hoping I could advance to, the Mazda 5, a mini-mini van. Three rows of seats, sliding side doors, great mileage, not your parent's mini-van when it comes to parking or looking cool.

This is what I've ended up with. A Honda Odyssey. The mothership of all mini-vans. Membership to Youth Soccer Leagues included.

Sadly, the Mazda 5 just wasn't big enough for 2 adults, 2 rear facing car seats and the largest double stroller known to man. Or rather...it was JUST big enough for those things and nothing more. The Odyssey holds all of us, our gargantuan stroller, two loads of Costco shopping and 15 beverages all at the same time. (Yes, the Odyssey holds 8 passengers, and has 15 cupholders ...you do the math).

Don't get me wrong. I really appreciate a mini-van and what it does...I just thought we had a few more years before we had to get one. I will love it in a week or two, but for now I'm a bit startled to see it in our driveway. And have I mentioned how much I love my Zoom Zoom? I get a little weepy at the thought of The Esquire getting to drive it to work every day. Sigh...I'm counting on the 15 cup holders and automatic sliding side doors to help me get over this pain.

I guess that's it for now. I'll figure out where to go with this blog and be back soon, I promise. But now I have to go watch Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum sleep... they both do this crazy little thing with their thumb that we just can't get enough of...

Ciao,
xoxo-Kat