Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Megabit 22

Today I stood in the grocery store and pondered cupcake mixes. I am not a cook of any sort but occasionally I can pull off a mix. The Esquire is an amazing cook and an even more amazing baker (pies are his specialty) but tonight he had work to do so the cupcakes were up to me. "Supreme Moist" "Deluxe Moistness" "With Pudding in the Mix" So many choices. So many unnecessary uses of the word "moist." I decided to trust Solomon and went with the Pillsbury.

I then bought giant '1' candles...two of them. It was a crazy, giddy moment for me...buying those candles. I have to admit I grinned all the way through check-out and walking to my car. And then I Facebooked about the candles! For someone who never wanted kids I sure am getting a thrill out of the little things.

Tomorrow my babies, my twins, turn one year old. April 1st. Or as they say in Ethiopia, Megabit 23, 2002.

Tomorrow there will be cupcakes.

There will be presents

and there will be crowns.

And in a week there will be a big party with lots of friends and family, a party that, odds are, the twins will sleep through. But regardless we are celebrating this milestone and these two sweet lives with gusto and joy and a bouncy house. I have never been so excited about a birthday celebration in my life. I mean seriously excited. There has been monogramming, people!

But all through my excitement this week, and now as I wait for the cupcakes to bake....I can't help but think about the twin's Ethiopian family. I wonder what they are thinking right now, how they are feeling. Are they remembering this time last year? Do they remember it with happiness or sadness? Are they like me and have been counting down to this date? Or has it suddenly slipped up on them; taken their breath away that a whole year has passed.

I wish I wish I wish I could let them know that everything is ok. That Baby Boy has the most delicious, giggly squeal and eyes that actually twinkle. And that Baby Girl has a smile that lights up your heart and a wicked sense of humor. They are loving and brilliant and funny and healthy and perfect in every way. I wish I could tell our Ethiopian family that.

Yes, of course we can send them updates and letters and such. But I wish I wish I wish I could tell them this NOW. On the night before the first birthday, I wish I could tell them that the twins know love...they know it in three languages and two time-zones and a million memories and stories and whispers. I wish I could call them up, right now, on this night that I imagine is as emotional for them as it is for me, and tell them these things.

But I can't. I can't email them or Facebook them or call them on the phone. Thankfully there will be candles on cupcakes tomorrow. Candles to wish upon. I guess for now, I'll just have to rely on those.

xoxo- Kat